How I Learned to Say “Ya’ll”

It’s time for a little Ebenezer raisin’ here, folks.

My soul’s been buckled down, in gear, doing its thing, focused on survival. But the other day I realized it’s been a while since we went dancing. And we have a lot of things to dance about. So pardon me as I recount, for my soul’s sake, a story of how my Jesus loves me? For maybe the music will remind you of something you have to dance about, and we can all enjoy a little shindiggery together.

This is the story of how we came to live in Alabama. It’s time we step back enough to see even the far edges of this miracle.

I have always been afraid of moving cross country. This was not something I labeled my tshirts with, but it was there– a deep down fear. Because, you see, I’ve done my share of moving. Not moving like a military family, that moves constantly–no, I think that if you move that much, you get in the mode a little better. We stayed in places long enough to plant deep roots, and moved just enough to know the horror of it.

First Move

When I was five, my father took a job transfer from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, to Raleigh, North Carolina. I was young enough that I don’t remember the hassle of packing up a family of six (my younger sister just 3 months old), or of a three day trek north, following a giant moving van to an apartment we’d never seen. But do I remember leaving behind our beloved backyard, complete with in-ground pool where I’d learned to swim like an otter almost before I could walk. I remember leaving a dear little girlfriend, a man who was like an uncle to us, and an adopted grandma who always gave us birthday cards for the wrong year. I remember leaving the cozy little reading nook Mommy had made for my brother and I in the living room, and the spot on the floor in front of the couch where I’d spelled out my first words.

North Carolina was a foreign land. The dirt was red, the ocean was hours away, and the people talked funny. My older brother and I expressed our resentment of everything being so different by refusing–the entire seven years we lived there–to use the contraction, “ya’ll”. We lived in an apartment for 3 months while we house hunted. Oh, and church shopped. Oh my. The house hunting I remember as a fun family outing, but visiting different churches each Sunday terrified me. All those strange people exercising the right to ‘make us feel welcome’ was torture to my shy, five-year-old self.

And then I remember a day, perhaps three years after the move, we were driving down Hillsborough Rd. on our way home from errands, and someone said, “When we get home” and something clicked into place inside me, and I realized that North Carolina at last felt like home. My stressed-out eight-year-old self relaxed just a tiny bit with the realization that we’d made it through the transition.

We lived in NC four more years. Four glorious years–some of the best of my childhood. We had 1.7 acres–a huge lot for a subdivision in the suburbs of the Capitol. It was mostly woods, and we spent the majority of our free time at least ten feet off the ground. Life was a delicious routine of homeschool, chores, quiet time, play time, family movie nights, music lessons, and seeing our friends at church. We played the Alphabet Game on our way back from the chiropractor’s each week, and got our “Q” on the same Quicky Lube sign every week.

Here We Go Again

And then, as if infected with the Seven Year Itch, my parents planned another move. This time I was old enough to understand what was happening. Old enough and experienced enough to know it would mean goodbyes to old friends, awkward acquaintances with new ones, a complete disruption of routine, and a long journey to find a new familiar.

I was thirteen the year we left NC for Upstate New York. But instead of moving from a home to a house that would become home, we sold most of our belongings and left upper-middle class suburbia to cram into a tipi on the top of a hillside, at the end of a 1/4 mile driveway, off a dirt road, in a rural county that didn’t boast a single shopping mall. (Not that I was addicted to mall shopping, I’m just tryin’ to paint a picture for you.)

I remember nearly every agonizing detail of this move. Teary goodbyes, twelve hours’ dreary driving under an appropriately grey sky into an unknown that was so vast, I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. There was absolutely nothing familiar to anchor to. The driveway to our new home was a slough of half-frozen mud that tried to eat the moving truck. Our only acquaintances were reserved almost-strangers we had only met on our scouting visits North the year before. The weather was inhospitable at best, and menacing at worst.

We lived on the homestead for nine years. It took nearly that long for it to feel like home, and often it felt like it only held that title by default.ย 

A Heart Shift

In the next ten years, I moved four times, but these were all in-state moves–from my parent’s home to my new husband’s, from one trailer in his parent’s mobile to the next–no relationships cut off or new geography to learn. I maintained a healthy fear of the dreaded cross-country move I had come to expect as an inevitable part of life.

Then, when I was 25, my God touched my heart and mind and released me from a heavy burden of fear–a debilitating level of anxiety that I’d lived with so long, I didn’t know it was there until it was gone. Suddenly I saw change as not a dread stranger, but a friendly possibility. For the first time in my life, I felt like I could move to a whole new place and even enjoy the process of meeting new people and setting up life in new surroundings. This was such a novel idea, I didn’t half trust it, but part of me thought a cross country move actually sounded like a fun adventure.

We Become Gypsies

In 2012, Jeremy’s parents bought a mobile home park in Alabama, of all places.ย  They had obligations in NY through mid summer, so Jeremy and I headed down to take possession of the park for them by July 1st. We drove our bus and suburban and 3 small children 3 days into the unknown, excited about seeing new places and spending the summer in our beloved bus.

When I stepped out of the car into the driveway of the mobile home park, I thought I was standing in the exhaust from the bus. I looked over and realized I was twenty feet from the bus and the heat hitting me was simply the air. I’d lived up North a long time and had forgotten air could feel this way. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our summer adventure–we met new friends through the blog who led us to a great church in the area, and we made memories on local bike paths and state parks.

We were not at this time planning on relocating. The plan had been:

  1. purchase a park that needs work
  2. do the work
  3. hire manager
  4. move on to next project

But the more time we spent in Alabama, the more we realized that this particular park wouldn’t be ready to hand off to a manager any time soon, and would need full time commitment for the foreseeable future.

The next year was punctuated by multiple 18-hour trips back and forth to New York as Jeremy helped his family manage the business in NY as well as the park in Alabama. Eventually, his parents sold their NY home and officially relocated to Alabama. We watched rather wistfully,ย  wondering if we would be next, but seeing a lot of obstacles to us leaving NY: there was a business and house to sell, and life-long relationships to part with.

Another Heart Shift

We got through another NY winter–our hardest one yet with Jeremy working seven days a week and me dealing with mold toxicity and the beginning of my 4th pregnancy–and when May came releasing us from ice and the coal business, we couldn’t wait to head south. We had work to do remodeling some homes Jeremy and I owned within the park, so planned to spend another summer in the bus. After a month here, we began to seriously ask ourselves if we should move here. We spent hours discussing it, till suddenly we realized we could weigh pros and cons till we were blue in the face, but we couldn’t see what God could see. So, we prayed a simple prayer–“Lord, guide our hearts.” Within a week we looked at each other and realized the Lord had moved our hearts to Alabama. We wanted to make this our new home.

There were still tons of details and logistics to figure out. Not only did we have a lot of ties in the North, we needed a house down here! We began to take steps toward moving, trusting God would make a way, since we were sure this was where He wanted to take us.

Not soon after, we found a used double wide that I fell in love with. The layout seemed so conducive to life with a young family. We put a down payment on it, and chose a lot in the park to move it too, believing we’d someday call it home.
image

At the end of summer we said goodbye to family and the church we’d come to love and headed North with the goal to have a baby and pack up our home. I channeled all my nesting energy into packing while Jeremy worked to complete obligations with the coal business. It was a crazy time, and a crazy plan, but we were buoyed by the scent of adventure and the gut feeling that this was God’s best for us.

Six weeks after Lydia was born, friends and family spent two days helping us load our household goods and tools and machinery from the business into two huge moving trucks. The leaving was not easy–I will admit that. On the last day in NY I said some very hard goodbyes to close friends and by the time the last box was shoved into the trucks, I was wrung dry, emotionally and physically on empty. But when we pulled out of the driveway, I felt a wash of peace and joy. Though we were embarking on a honest-to-goodness, 1000 mile relocation, I had the overwhelming sensation of going home.

Coming Home

The closer we got to Alabama, the more excited I became. And when, our caravanย  of five vehicles finally pulled into the park–a place so far from my old home, and yet so blessedly familiar after spending six months of the last two years camping here–I felt a deep, inner ‘clink’ as my body reunited with my heart and all of me felt right at home.

 

 

There was still weeks of hassle and transition–we slept in the bus while we got a trailer ready to be home for us. Then the bus heater quit and we moved into my in-laws for another week until we got heat in our new place. Then it was three weeks of using a chamber pot while they got the septic tank installed. Jeremy still had to make several trips back to NY over the winter and it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t fun to mother four kids single-handedly while my love was miles away. But even in the hardest moments I’ve still smiled when I think how much I used to fear a cross country move, and how, because of the loving care of my Father, the biggest move of my life has been a thrilling adventure.

image

 

image

image

image

I love my new home, our church has surrounded us with love and support, and our family is thriving. I don’t know what the future holds, but this experience has deepened my trust in the Father’s love and encouraged me that whatever the next adventure is, I can embrace it joyfully because He goes before me, He stands behind me, and He walks beside me.

And? I say ‘ya’ll’ now. All the time.

That’s what I’m dancing about…how about you? What did God do this week/month/year/decade that reminded you that He’s a loving Father? I’d love to hear! Leave a comment or link to your blog if it’s a long story..like mine. ๐Ÿ˜‰

18 responses to “How I Learned to Say “Ya’ll””

  1. Shannon - AKA Design / Bloggers & Brands Avatar

    I say y’all all the time after Wayne and Rebekah visit!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚ SO glad to hear you’re settled!!!
    xo,
    Shannon (Acheson)

    1. Trina Avatar

      It’s definitely contagious lol Thanks for stopping by, Shannon!

  2. Katie Mae @ Nourishing Simplicity Avatar

    I love that you used “ebenezer”, sometimes when I mention that word I get strange looks. When I say you know an “ebenezer”. They must have never sung “Come Thou Fount”. ๐Ÿ™‚ Blessing to you today Trina!

    1. Trina Avatar

      Katie, I always enjoy your visits. Thanks for stopping by. Do you have any ebenezer stories on your blog? I’d love to hear…

  3. Hannah Beth Reid Avatar
    Hannah Beth Reid

    Thank you so much for sharing this testimony!

  4. Anneloes Avatar
    Anneloes

    Thanks for sharing your story! I can relate in some parts growing up abroad and now raising my family overseas as well. I am wondering how you have helped your own children with this transitions? I understand the moves you made as a child were very hard on you. How to you guide your own in a better way now to adapt and resettle? Would you ever move your family again with children in their teens? A book we have used is “Third Culture Kids= Growing up among worlds”. I do think that even a move within the same country but to such a new place is also a total new world!

  5. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    I love this! And can so relate. We made a similar move from the big city to a small rural mountain town in Colorado. And although it’s been hard at times to be alone, and it was so hard leaving good friends, we know we are right where we belong. God has blessed us with a renewed love for His love and our family of four has never been happier. We love being in nature, out of the big city and all it’s secular trappings. We can focus on what matters, our love of family, life, and most importantly God.
    I don’t know how long we’ll get to live this life of simple pleasures. But I know that my husband and I both needed to come here to heal our hearts and minds and finally get closer to God.

    1. Trina Avatar

      Mmmm…loved this little glimpse into your story, Laura! a season to heal and grow closer to God–what a blessing!

  6. Jess White Avatar

    It takes me all of about 10 minutes to slip back into my southern accent: My aunt gets a kick out of it whenever we visit down there.

    Honestly, I can’t ever imagine moving anywhere, and give you guys and God major credit for doing so…even if I miss having you in the same state.

  7. Kay Bagwell Avatar
    Kay Bagwell

    This was beautiful. Thank you, dear friend, for sharing your story. I take strength knowing God is always working in us and through us.

  8. Claire @ Lemon Jelly Cake Avatar

    Thanks for sharing your story! I have a fear of moving cross country… even moving to a different county. After having lived in the same little area for all but the first two months of my life, moving is VERY unknown to me. I have never had that complete uprooting experience you speak of and neither has my husband for that matter. If that day ever comes, I know we will be stretched in ways we can’t imagine. ๐Ÿ˜‰ So glad that this move has been an adventure for you!

  9. Melissa Sutter Avatar
    Melissa Sutter

    I love reading about your family and childhood stories. You have such a unique life story and your authentic storytelling makes it easy reading for me.

  10. Jessiqua Wittman Avatar

    Ohh! How I loved this! And your home is so lovely and spacious looking. Heart changes are special because only our wonderful God can do them. <3

  11. Jamie Wright Bagley Avatar

    I love this life update in a nutshell! It’s good to hear that you are thriving in spite of lots of upheaval. And I’ve discovered that y’all is a very fun word to say. It’s kind of like saying “you guys” only with a hug. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It totally suits you. Thank you for sharing your heart journey layer of your story. Bless your sweet family!

  12. carol barker Avatar
    carol barker

    Hi Trina….I love reading your articles……I really miss you and your family. I miss how it was when we first came out here to New York…….your family was such a blessing to us. I am saddened that you didn’t really feel like your family’s little homestead was not home. I have such fond memories of tea and basket weaving and flowers and the friendly visits we had not to mention the yummy food. Once in a while I drive past your old homestead and the old times all come back. It was a special time for me and my family……one I want to hold onto forever. So glad you are happy.

    1. Trina Avatar

      Carol, certainly one thing that helped the homestead feel more homey was when we were able to host sweet friends like yourself. There are certainly plenty of good memories on that hill.

      1. carol barker Avatar
        carol barker

        Wonderful memories…..for me it was a time when my kids were young and I surely miss those days. It all went by way too fast…….I remember coming to the homestead one night in winter…..we were all invited to your home for dinner. We parked our car at the bottom of the driveway and walked on up to the house…..we had a wonderful soup and those scrumptious rolls your mom always made…..in those days it was like walking back in time when we came to see you all. Nothing is better then that ๐Ÿ™‚

        1. Mar Avatar

          Just recently subscribed to your blog! I love your stories! I have a few doozys, moved from US of A to Spain! Though my recent stories very new….I’m a dinosaur techie and have an ipad here dont know how to leave link : o but some stories here: http://www.beautyseeker.blog.com
          Beautiful blessings,
          Mar

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *