I asked Seth if he wanted to take a nap. He’d been sitting next to me on the couch for 20 min instead of roaming the house like a caged animal as he’s prone to do lately. He simply nodded, unwilling to take his passy out to communicate verbally.
It’s not even 10am and my busy 1 1/2 year old who gave up his morning nap months ago happily wilted into my arms so I could carry him up to bed.
We’re sick. Oh, we are so sick. I mean, we’ll live, and we’re actually on the mend, but we were really sick this time. Coughing, green snot, fevers, parched lips – the whole nine yards.
And the worst part? I feel guilty about it.
See, when you put as much passion as I do into nourishing your family well, and for the most part enjoy really good health, you kind of link the two in your head – we’re healthy ’cause we take good care of ourselves. It’s actually a pretty accurate conclusion. Except it overlooks one major factor….
We live in a broken world.
We can — and should — be good stewards of our time, our health, our resources, but in the end, failure is still so often a part of the picture.
And then, if you’re like me, you want to take the blame. So on top of sinus infections we’ve been fighting for 5 weeks (which is probably more the fault of a mild winter’s failure to kill a lot of bugs than my irresponsibility) I’ve spent my time in bed wondering if I’d been more diligent to give my kids yogurt every day and to eat more sauerkraut whether all this would happen.
And isn’t that rather presumptuous of me? Here we are in a fallen world and I think I can reverse the direction of the universe armed with my little jars of yogurt and sauerkraut?
So, I’m trying to refocus my perspective today. To transfer my hope from myself (who can fail even when I’m doing my best because of that whole fallen world thing) to God (Who, even in a fallen world, can allow us to rise above the brokenness with an eternal perspective).
- Counting the Gifts: Sunshine, energy to make breakfast
- I’m counting my Thousand Gifts to bring my attitude back in alignment.
- I’m trying really hard to ignore the mess throughout the house so I can get the rest I need to heal.
- We’re eating soups made with homemade stock, and avoiding sugar as much as possible.
- I’m looking at my Home Management Binder to discern where I can cut back so I can get the rest I need in the coming month to kick this thing once and for all.
Have you experienced failure in the past week? Have you been down on yourself? I hope not, but if you have, please learn from my mistakes. Be reminded that it’s a fallen world, and our only true hope is not in our ability to preform, but in God’s ability to redeem – sometimes in the now, definitely in Eternity.
Hope your day is filled with spring sunshine and hope,
Trina
Feel better :). I think about this often… even if we do our best with nutrition and exercise, illness and disease will happen, due to factor’s outside of our control, because of sin and corruption. Thank you for sharing these thoughts, so well worded.
Thank you. I am sorry your family is ill. I am blessed you had the strength to write this. I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to figure out what happened to my home, and how to fix it. It is so cluttered and trashy that I didn’t even want to walk in here.
So I determined that this morning, I was cleaning this house from one end to the other. I wanted to spring clean. Even with taking breaks by 4:00 my back was spasming and my legs shaking. I am recovering from cancer treatments. Even though the active treatment ended a year ago, I do not have the strength I did BC. I realized I had to quit for the day and rest. But I was angry that I had to quit and rest. Angry at myself and my failure to keep going. Then I read your blog today. I have just given myself to stop, sit and sew. Thank you for your message.
Tina, yes, please, do sit down and put your feet up! So glad my story could help give you perspective and permission to rest. I’m having to pace myself over here, too. Vacuumed two rooms today. Just two. 🙂
Sorry to hear the fam’s sick. Is there anything I might be able to do to help??? Praying for you all right now…
Erin, prayers are so appreciated! That we’d have the grace to rest and give ourselves time to get really well. I’m thankful Jeremy recovered quickly – he’s taking good care of us!
i have been beyond grateful that we’ve managed to avoid *knock on wood* any major illnesses this winter. Praying you’re all well VERY SOON!
Thank you, dear. Loved your note. 🙂
Great post! A very good reminder to me because it really isn’t about us, is it? 🙂 We can help a lot by being good stewards of our health but ultimately we need to trust the God who redeems! Hallelujah!
So true! Preach it, sister! And I hope you all start to feel better soon.
Something very similar was going through my head as I drove home from work yesterday…after getting the news that cutting back my hours had been approved. I felt relief, but also quite a bit of guilt….Anyway, glad to hear you are all the mend!
I’ve battled that guilt, too, whenever one of my kids gets sick. Should’ve made more homemade stock soups, should’ve fed them more good yogurt, should’ve added more fresh garlic, should’ve made more elderberry syrup, should’ve gotten them in to the chiropractor more often, my list goes on and on… but you’re so right, we live in a fallen world, and who am I to think that I can actually beat that? I can try, and I should try, and I am trying, and by the grace of God we’ll get through these days…
ali, I’m praying with you for your family’s health! It sounds like you’re doing a great job as a mom – REST in that, ok? hugs, Trina
I managed to avoid this myself (though I was on the “verge” of sickness for almost a month!) but my husband crashed and burned this past weekend. Seems to be up and doing well now but I think the sinus yuckiness will linger for a bit. 🙁
Oh….I SO do this to myself. I too take lots of time and effort to nourish my family as well as I can and I feel like a failure when one of us gets ill. I am really very hard on myself and it’s really quite silly…but I do it anyway. Thank you for this post. Thank you for the reminder.
Oh, you’re welcome debbie. I need the reminder regularly, that’s why I decided to post about it. please rest in doing your best, ok? 🙂
We’ve had the same thing since the beginning of February 🙁 I hope you all get better soon!
thanks, katie! I’m sorry you guys aren’t well either! Yeah, this bug seems to linger.
You poor things!! Your littles just look pathetic. 🙂 well it is certainly not your fault and you’re right we can only do so much for now. I think part of it is deep inside we know we weren’t made to get sick! God didn’t intend it, but as you said part of the curse. So I think it’s a good thing we fight tooth and nail against it, all the while not taking blame. 🙂 consider this my bringing a big vitual pot of chicken soup to you all. <3
Mmmm – the soup is wonderful! Thanks, Jyl. 🙂
Lovely post, and I do hope you’re well soon. I may not be failing in this area, but as usual I’m battling with a spirit of anger that I thought for sure had been whipped the last time around.. but once again I’m reminded that we’re never above stumbling. Love ya!
Thanks, Traci. Love you too