Introducing Monique!


This is my dear friend, Monique. She came into my life the summer we were both 22. I found her sitting in the back room of the local thrift store. They didn’t have a display window to use her in, so she had been living in the back room for about a month. I decided to ask if the ladies would part with her. One little old lady had to consult another little old lady, and they two had to talk to two even older, littler ladies, who discussed the proposition together in whispers in their office…finally they came to the door and announced to me that they would part with her for $35. “SOLD!!!!” I would have yelled – if I hadn’t thought it would make them jump right out of their nylons.

So, Olivia and I went into the back room to claim our new friend. As I picked her up, she separated at the waist, exposing a very, well, red and lacy pair of undies. This was when we began to be embarrassed. I made Olivia carry her legs, including the black, fish-net tights and the red, well, underwear. I lifted her torso, which was clothed in a lovely, silky, blue dress, vintage 80’s style, and her arms immediately became dislocated at the shoulders. I wrapped my arms around her in a big bear hug, spare fingers snagging wig and appendages, whispered in her ear that it would all be over soon, and headed through the thrift store behind Olivia, each of us carrying half of a half-naked manikin.

Monique was waving her right arm out in front of me like a blind person groping her way through the obstacle course of clothes racks. I tried not to bump into anyone, or leave them emotionally scared, but it was all I could do to keep from falling over laughing. Then, suddenly, someone was shaking Monique’s out-stretched hand – it was an acquaintance of ours, graciously introducing herself to our new friend.

At last we made it to the car, strapped her in the to back seat, and collapsed in giggles. For the rest of our errands we were alternately delighted and startled by the visage in the back seat. I chose her name ’cause I thought it had a nice ring when you strung it all together – “Monique the Manikin”.

Monique lived in my bedroom for a few weeks, until I grew tired of the start she gave me every time I walked into the room and saw somebody sitting on my hope chest, waiting for me! We moved her to the attic, where she had an even more startling effect, because we didn’t go in the attic as often, so we had time to forget she was even there! Every few days you might hear a scream overhead as someone, well, said hello to Monique.

She is quite a sport, and has participated in a few well timed and very humorous practical jokes. She was most honored when I asked her to be the guest book attendant at our wedding. She wore a white silk dress, and red heels to match her make-up and manicure (she likes red). she held a sign that said “Please Sign the Guestbook” and greeted everyone when they arrived.

It was Debbie who wanted to invite her to Martha‘s wedding. Martha wouldn’t have it, but did allow Monique to come to the square dance. There she warmed everyone’s hearts, even Martha’s, and she was invited to the reception – as long as she didn’t eat anything.

She sat next to the photo booth and held the props for those who wanted to get creative when they got their picture taken. Some even took her in the booth with them. Some only took an arm… My favorite shot was this one, when Jerry took her on his lap. Obviously, Jerry thought it was a lot of fun, too.

Monique has brought such joy to our lives, I have decided I would like to adopt more manikins. I have such a heart for these…people. They need an environment where they are appreciated and cared for, not stuck in some thrift shop window wearing last year’s fashions (if that). Monique is looking for a best friend – preferably a female manikin in a standing position, and also is interested in a boyfriend (tall, dark, and handsome – you know the type). So, if you know of a manikin looking for a home, please contact me! I will pay for traveling fees and whatever other expenses are involved.
Really.
I’m serious. Spread the word – I want another manikin!

17 responses to “Introducing Monique!”

  1. nutcasedebbie Avatar
    nutcasedebbie

    I am soooo glad I invited her to the wedding:) it was such fun.But I think she needs a husband. Love you lots
    Debbie

  2. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    Trina, if you keep a running list of ideas of things to post in the future, it sounds like several of us would love to hear the stories of the practical jokes she's assisted in πŸ˜‰

  3. Kinsleys5 Avatar
    Kinsleys5

    Hey Trina – You should post a 'Wanted: Homeless Mannequins' on Freecycle. Maybe somebody has one sitting around!

  4. Kinsleys5 Avatar
    Kinsleys5

    You're lookin' good there, tootz. Looks like you've moved up in the world since your days as a parking attendant!

  5. Trina Avatar
    Trina

    well said, lee, well said.

  6. Anja Avatar
    Anja

    Oh my, the practical jokes we have pulled with Monique on our unsuspecting guest have been worth all the embarrassment of we have suffered from owning a manikin.

  7. Olivia Joy Avatar
    Olivia Joy

    I am still scarred from having to carry to bottom of this dear lady. Blech!!! I choose not to remember that day.

  8. abigail t Avatar
    abigail t

    πŸ˜€
    Has she ever helped you pull off I really good practical joke on an unsuspecting guest?

  9. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    LOL!!!! *wipes tears from eyes*

    I have to admit. I think a manikin is the last thing I would want to buy. But, yours is cute!

  10. Trina Avatar
    Trina

    ANYTHING is better than being stuck in a shop window wearing outdated thriftstore clothes!

  11. The Red Lobster Redux Avatar
    The Red Lobster Redux

    lol β€œan environment where they are appreciated and cared for” You can't fool me, I remember seeing Monique stuffed in the attic last august. Poor girl was sweating up a storm. I would have considered being on the lookout for a partner for her but I don't know if my conscience would let me subject another manikin to such a fate! :p

  12. Trina Avatar
    Trina

    Oh, Martha – that one is hilarious! thanks for posting a link.
    Yes, Natalie S. – I am serious about having a collection of manikins, but plan to store them in the old church my inlaws use for storage, so they won't actually be crowding up our trailer. We plan to populate our home will REAL people. πŸ™‚

  13. rahrahbt Avatar
    rahrahbt

    Nice to be able to put a face to the name… πŸ™‚ You guys are so HILL-ARE-EEE-US!!!!! Sounds like a great adventure though. You could put together a custom built family…they make kid ones too you know πŸ™‚

  14. La Brebis Roses Avatar
    La Brebis Roses

    That picture is great, Trina…but did you see this one? http://picasaweb.google.com/getaround1/FisherValineWedding/photo#5186221331351463602 I think it might be my favorite. So random. πŸ™‚

  15. Natalie Roth Avatar
    Natalie Roth

    Oh my…I'm still laughing! That's a little strange, but hilarious! πŸ˜€ Yeah…I think it would be just a bit startling to see her unexpectedly. :p

  16. Natalie_S Avatar
    Natalie_S

    Ummm, Olivia, someone? Did Trina hit her head coughing too hard? Did I really hear her say she wants to decorate her small trailer with immobile versimilitudes of well rouged ladies? Trina, you're wonderful. I think you're also a little insame.

  17. Anna Avatar
    Anna

    I was scared so many times by her sitting in the attic! You would open the door and see this white face! It was really scary.

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