Collecting No’s

I’ve collected a wide variety of things over the years. My early collections were begun for the sake of collecting, because I thought everyone who was cool had a collection.

I looked around me and saw the stickers on the bananas we were having for breakfast, and decided to collect banana stickers. Cool.

In the 90’s I collected Snapple bottle caps, because the corny jokes made me a laugh (and bottle caps were infinitely cooler than banana stickers).

When I matured (a bit) I collected Delft china because that’s what a good daughter of Dutch immigrants does, right?

Finally, I realized I didn’t like clutter, wasn’t really a collector. I cleared my shelves and put my collections in storage. (Yes, I still own the china, the caps and the banana stickers. What can I say. I’m sentimental.)

I thought I’d quit collecting things, until I looked around at what 2015 was looking like and realized I’d begun collecting no’s.

Near the end of last year I had some big ideas, and some great directions I could I could go with my time and energies in the new year. I was excited about opportunities to serve outside my home, and even a speaking engagement (I just love talking!).

2015 promised to be a big year. 

Then I figured out I was pregnant (it always takes me a while) and I caught another vision for 2015.

This will be the year I will welcome the long-awaited 5 child into our family. (I know there’s less than 2 years between this one and the last one, but I’ve always dreamed of having at least 5 children, and this will be the year that dream finally comes true.) This is the year my motherhood will experience yet another epic shift, and I will have huge opportunities for growth and impact–in my own home and heart.

This will be a year focused on Motherhood.

So I started saying “No” to things. I said “no, not now” to some big, time consuming ideas I’d had for my blog, and found instead some smaller (still amazing, but less exhausting) ways to serve my readers in the coming months. I said “No, but thank you so much” to the speaking engagement. I said no to some volunteering I loved, and other commitments I just didn’t have the energy for. I was a bit wistful, but I knew it was the right thing.

And that’s when I noticed that I’d begun a new collection. I’d begun collecting “no’s”. Not no’s like rejection, like when other people say no to you. (Those are no fun.) Nope, these were “no’s” God was nudging me toward, and every time I said one, I felt life got more peaceful. Less cluttered.

A NO isn’t ugly when it means you’re saying YES to something better. And collecting that kind of NO makes space and gives you room to breath.

Some dreams don’t fit in the same season. As we get to know 2015 in person, instead of a list of goals on paper, is it time to do a little tiny bit of reevaluating? Do you have some NO’s you need to say to lighten your load this year?


14 responses to “Collecting No’s”

  1. […] Collecting No’s | Trina Holden (I’ve been collecting a few no’s myself too!) […]

  2. Stacy @Stacy Makes Cents Avatar

    I believe Tim Hawkins calls it “The gift of no.” 🙂 So happy for you, friend!

  3. Elyce Avatar

    I LOVE this and can so relate. At the beginning of the year, I had a list of goals for 2015. However, as the reality of the new year, a full schedule, and focusing on my #1 calling to be a mommy has become more and more evident, I am realizing I might need to collect a few “nos” of my own. 🙂

    1. Trina Avatar

      yes. reality setting in–can remind us of our true priorities. Thanks for visiting, Elyce!

  4. Elizabeth Avatar

    The sort of No that leaves time for the Wonderful Yes to the right thing sounds fantastic.

    Also no does not have to be a forever no it can be a not right now kind of no.

    1. Trina Avatar

      Elizabeth–good reminder. No’s are not forever!

  5. Stephie N Avatar
    Stephie N

    No’s seem to be my language! Atleast in your perspective, sometimes when I’m getting away from the father I feel guilty for saying no to things, but then he reminds me about all the yes’s I do use and how much more important it is for me to say those yes’ than it is for me to say yes to those outside ‘grand things’

    1. Stephie N Avatar
      Stephie N

      And it’s amazing how his yes’ are just so utterly perfect for me even though I never thought they would be enough for his kingdom work and he reminds me just how important the yes’ from him really are. I am so spoiled rotten as a daughter of the King!

      1. Trina Avatar

        Stephie–this! This is what I feel I’m discovering in this season of no’s to so many other things–the incredible value of the stuff I’m saying yes to. I forget and think I am comparing opportunities of equal value, when nothing compares to the value of what God has called me to be and do in this season. Thanks for your comments which helped me dig even deeper into what God is trying to teach me in this season!

  6. semone Avatar

    Super congrats on number 5!!! And a very well said post.

    1. Trina Avatar

      Thanks, Semone!

  7. Angi @ SchneiderPeeps Avatar

    Congratulations! What a huge blessing and I’m excited that have a new dream for 2015.

    1. Trina Avatar

      I’m excited, too, Angi. Grateful that even as He veers me away from one thing, He lights a fire of passion in me for what He’s leading me toward.

  8. Bethany Avatar

    Well said friend!!!!
    I’ve certainly been collecting “NO’s”………..I just said bye bye to my dream job so I can work something seasonal instead in order to spend more time with my family. So glad I did!!!!!!
    Life is too short. Flying 1,000 mph makes the time disappear, so I’m only flying 500 mph from now on.

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