In many ways I was a late bloomer – didn’t wear a bra till I was 14, I played with dolls till I was 16, and didn’t get my license till I was 21. It took me a long time to be an adult. So for me, 30 has the significance and excitement that most people associate with their 21st birthday. I finally feel grown up. I have several friends who confess the same feelings of delayed maturity. Though we are married, have kids, and run our own home, we’re sometimes still surprised by that diamond on our hand and the fact that ‘what’s for dinner?’ is entirely up to us.
I’ve been trying to figure out why I finally feel like I’ve made it to adulthood. The big 3-0 definitely has something to do with it. My mother was 30 when she had me; the first adults I knew where people in their thirties.
Feeling grown up probably has something to do with having three kids. It’s not the amount so much, but the fact that by the time you’ve had three, you’ve been at this motherhood thing for a while, and the symptoms of motherhood have become so common as to not be noticed anymore, or at least, not much. Sleep deprivation caused by children or anxiety-driven insomnia, stretch marks, grey hair, deeper smile lines, finally realizing you will never fit those clothes from high school again in this life: all undeniable proof.
Other things that make me feel grown up…
- Making my own dentist appointment to get my wisdom teeth out
- Enjoying Christmas though we only bought gifts for the kids this year
- Learning to leave the kitchen clean after a meal
- Cooking the turkey for Thanksgiving dinner
- Reading books addressed to homeschooling parents
- Pushing the extended car cart in Wegmans full of groceries, diapers, and 3 children calling me ‘Mom’
Yes, I think I’m finally feel grown up. Which gives me just one more reason to ignore my age and play a highly competitive game of Capture the Flag with my nieces, nephews, younger B-I-L and my son last weekend. Harassing prisoners, taunting the opposing team, and skirmishes back and forth over the yellow garden hose that formed the boundary line had me feeling 17 again – that is until I realized the little boy I was chasing pel-mel around the side of the house was my own son…
When did you finally feel grown up? What reminds you that you’re an adult now?
I felt grown up today. I was a the thrift store no longer buying fun things for just me. i got stuff for me, hubby, a growing 18 month old (girl) and rapidly growing 11week old boy. When did i become so responsible for everyone else! : ) its a delight too!
Trina when did you turn thirty? I just did on April 10th. Very surreal feeling. Sounds like our birthdays are close!
Well, considering that I had to start wearing a bra when I was 10… I usually feel “old” in comparison to others. But I think that our child-likeness is something of a gift. Just the other day my husband was saying that one of his favorite things about me is that I can giggle like a six year old. (what can I say? I’m ticklish.)
I still look at my husband often and say, “I can’t believe we have a baby!” Maybe someday I will actually feel like a mom…. it just seems like you have to be old to be one, and I don’t feel old :). Maybe it is our youthful, exuberant spirits that keep us from feeling like real “adults” lol.
I may be the opposite of you. I have always felt older than I was and felt grown up long before I really was grown up. This had to do with some issues that caused child likeness to be a sad and scary thing so I didn’t want anything to do with it. I am in a season of God restoring my child likeness!
Oh, thank you for sharing this! I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one who played with dolls into their teen years, and am especially glad to hear that I’m not the only one who has feelings of delayed maturity. I’m almost 27, and still don’t really feel “grown up”.
So fun reading this. I told my mom the other day that you were turning 30 and she couldn’t believe it. I looked at her and said “Mom, I’m going to be 30 in 3 months”. To her, she still sees you as the “little” girl you were 😀
OK, so I’m not going to elaborate too much on the whole turning 30 and being a {real} adult, because I’ve got my own birthday soon and have a few things percolating in my head for my blog 😉
Aaaah. This comes at just a perfect time for me – I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling this. I’m not nearly as grown up as you are – you’ve got eight and a half years on me, I don’t have any kids and I’m not married, but I’m at that point in my life where I am rapidly facing growing up. Graduating college in eight months, being in a serious relationship, possibly getting married within the next few years – it’s a lot of growing up type changes.
It really comforts me to know that other people also have the weird feeling of not being totally grown up in their 20s. There are so many times when my life right now and the responsibilities I have in it seem totally and completely unreal, and I’m not even graduated from college yet. It’s going to be a crazy few years ahead . . .
I can so relate to not feeling grown up. At 36 I still don’t feel grown up half the the time. However the realization (that every so often hits me pretty hard) that my employment is what keeps a roof over our heads and food on the table, makes me realize that I must be grown up after all! (I am guessing that if I were to have children that would make me feel even more grown up.)
(And I think ” feelings of delayed maturity” as you put it, are pretty common in homeschooled girls.)