Better Writing Challenge: Show not Tell

And here is the Better Writer Challenge from Day One, which I’m sharing just ’cause I’m so excited to be writing (and because I really am sick in bed today! Pray for me?)

Here we’re challenged to Show not Tell. First list is where I tell you, the second is where I try to SHOW you. What do you think?

1. Yesterday we had spring weather
2. Today I have a cold
3. My husband had to stay home from work
4. He’s taking care of the children
5. I’m in bed all day.

1. Mud on their boots. Mud on the floor. Mud on their smiling faces! “Mommy, can we go outside again tomorrow?”

2. My eyeballs are sweating. The Advil just whispered to my headache, instead of ordering it out of the room. The chills have me shaking so bad, I almost call my husband on the cell phone he left on my pillow so he can hear the rattle of my teeth in my head.

3. We didn’t have to discuss it. I didn’t have to feel guilty. He knows when I’m down. He simply got up and put on my role instead of his own without a word.

4. The thumps, cries, and screams of laughter waft up the stairway, around the corner, and down the hallway. They don’t even miss me and I’m ok with that…only I miss them.

5. The last time I spent this much time horizontal was recovering from my son’s birth. I’m strangely grateful for the pounding head and aching joints for the sweet relief of not being in charge.