I’m afraid to write about Allume.
Afraid I won’t get the words right. Afraid the right words won’t come out.
I need to listen to my friend Kristina’s Allume session RIGHT NOW. I heard her practice it, I know it’s about writers block, and I know she would tell me in perhaps the only voice I would listen to right now that I just need to write. Now. Just obey and put my fingers to the keys and let Him speak the words I know He will speak when I obey.
But I’m afraid.
Because, ya’ll, the picture I want to paint for you with my words is a grand, epic, masterpiece, full of vibrant colors and minute details, worthy of a 8 inch deep, gilt frame, and a wall in the Louvre.
But I feel like all I am capable of is a simple sketch. We’re talkin’ stick figures. And I hate stick figures. I’ve always wanted to be one of those artists who could use paints and brushes to create a photo-like portrait. And I’ve been unwilling to start if I couldn’t finish perfectly.
But isn’t that the essence of what He taught me this past weekend? That feeling inadequate is ok? In fact, that He PREFERS to use broken, worn out, worthless-in-the-world’s-eyes vessels because (hello?!) then He gets the glory for the beauty He creates when we obey?
So, I put my fingers to the keyboard. Afraid that I won’t do Him justice. But determined that I will obey. Because I have seen the miracle of the broken vessel, the shattered pitcher, and His light shining all the brighter because of our inadequacies.
Um, this is gonna be a long story. I can’t tell it short. Y’all ok with that?