I’ve told you about my mountain — that seeming impossible situation in my life, of moving to the wilderness in my teens and wondering how I’d ever meet any eligible young men. I also told you the beginning of how God began to move that mountain, pebble by pebble. Today I’m gonna add a bit more drama (or, as it may turn out, lack of drama) and tell you about a large cliff on the side of my mountain – a sheer, nearly un-scalable rock face we’re gonna call “The Wall”. The shadow of this Wall loomed threateningly over my future love life, filling the path with stumbling blocks, and the fissures with fear:
From a young age, painfully so. As I matured and my parents endeavored to teach me social skills, I learned to shake hands, make eye contact, even (oh, agony) introduce myself. By the time I was in my teens, it looked like I was over my shyness and well adjusted. But inside I was a twisted bunch of nerves, full of fear that I looked wrong, talked wrong, and wouldn’t be accepted. In groups or with anyone but close family and friends, I was the one on the outside, quietly looking in, watching, and hoping no one expected me to say anything.
{Those who know me now will probably think that this is where I decided to insert a bit of fiction to make my story better, for nowadays I’m usually the one in the center of the group, talking the loudest! I’m quite a different person now, and it had a lot to do with this journey}
That’s why when our new friend, Tom, invited us to visit his Church, I was content to stay home and play dolls and feed chickens.
OK, it wasn’t that bad. I guess I would have liked to go, a little bit. But it was my turn to babysit.
The chickens, not the dolls.
You see, just about a year into our homestead experience, despite our attempts to plan and save, our savings were running low, and though we still did not feel quite ready (the house wasn’t done, we didn’t have a driveway or any outbuildings), it was time to jump into some entrepreneurial endeavors. Having a close friend who knew Joel Salatin, we were introduced to the idea of raising grass-fed chickens. Two-thirds of our land was open meadow, and chickens didn’t seem like rocket science, so we dove in. My dad and brothers spent some time at Polyface farm and then came back to the homestead to turn it into a chicken farm.
That’s a story in itself right there, let me tell you. But for the sake of this story, I’ll skip over that to the summer I was 15, and the brooder house was full of 200 little peeping chicks who, at just a week old, needed almost hourly attention. The propane heater must be checked, feed trays filled, waterers unclogged, temperature adjusted — whenever my family went anywhere during brooding season, someone had to stay home with the chicks. This Sunday it was my turn.
And the thing was — I was OK with that. See, in addition to being shy and fearful of meeting new people, I also didn’t really care about growing up. Maybe I was afraid of that, too, and figured if I pretended I was younger it would delay the process? Who knows, but that Sunday, as my family piled into the suburban and spun through the mud down the driveway, leaving me alone in the middle of 150 acres for the whole day, I was giddy inside.
This meant I had the dollhouse all to myself.
All day, while my family met new friends and made pivotal connections with people that would bring us closer to meeting my future husband, I was sitting on my sister’s bed, playing happily with her dollhouse in between runs to the brooder to check on the chicks.
And STILL my God was able to find a man for me, and — eventually– get us to talk to each other, and then — but I’m getting ahead of myself. Next time I’ll tell you about the first time I set eyes on my future husband…
I loved your blog, it is inspirational. I am 51 and still do not feel like an old maid and to anyone who may still be waiting on God to bring you your love, don’t give up or feel like he has forgotten you. I took some wrong turns in life and I am divorced and still longing for true love and just as God is the mountain mover he is the God of 2nd chances. Love can find you at any age, keep believing and seek God first and everything else will fall into place. God has put this on my heart and I believe him and he want you to believe this as well.
with love, Lisa
Lisa, you’re absolutely right–God is the God of 2nd chances. May He continue to write your story for His glory.
It's so fun to share this story with you all and hear your feedback! I'm having a blast with this.
Yeah, Diane. Me and dollhouses. I have a tragic story about dollhouses I'll tell ya'll sometime…heart breaking…but it has a good ending!
You wrote: “This meant I had the dollhouse all to myself.”
That woulda been me as well, my dear! ๐
And PS. I'm having a blast reading your story, seeing God's work, and remembering the little ways in which our lives intersected along the way.
Ahh….yes! The thrill of raising chickens lol I remember those days well (Dad and I were just talking about all of that last night).
I think you and I flipped places: While both shy, I was loud and am now quiet and reserved, and now you're seemingly much more outgoing ๐
I can't wait to find out what happens next! ๐
Oh, gosh! Even though I think I have a good idea of your story, I'm sitting edge of my seat waiting for the next installment. ๐