My Anxiety Disorder: How I am I doing now?

It may surprise you that I still struggle with anxiety. After all, I experienced a huge deliverance in this area. My mind underwent a massive overhaul. My thought patterns were in some ways completely reversed! I occasionally have flash backs to how I used to think about a situation and it almost always makes me laugh out loud with joy. I’m free!!!

But I still have stress in my life. Some of it is natural and part of how we are wired and what motivates us. But God is still working on me to rid me of anxiety based on lies. When I look back over the past 6 years I see He did a huge work in releasing me from what strangers thought of me. Then the lessons moved closer to home and I had to learn to make decisions that were best for me and my little family, and diminish the impact of the voices that had always been pivotal in my decision making process – that of extended family and those I respected. It was part of growing up and learning to go to God and my own husband when making choices for my own family. Then the Lord began to work even deeper in my heart – a process that I’m right in the middle of even as I write this series – discovering the false expectations I enforce on myself and the lies I believe about  how I relate to Him. The work keeps getting deeper till I am at the point of addressing the core lies I believe about God. Oh, how I want His truth to invade my life, to the deepest, darkest corners of my heart. I have tasted freedom and I want to fully embrace it!

Do I ever experience the chest pains that sent me to the ER? Yes. But get this – after the Lord healed me, they went from several times a week to a few times a year. Yes, I can literally count on one hand the times in the past few years when stress has gotten me to the point of  triggering the chest pains again. And now that I know what they are, I don’t freak out, but take them as a signal that I’ve been believing a lie and need to cleanse my mind with truth. I go to the scriptures – Psalms, Proverbs and Isaiah are favorites for regaining perspective on God’s heart and my place in the big picture. I talk with Jeremy. I humble myself before God and repent and ask for help. And even when the pain grips me again, I rejoice, because it always reminds me that I’m changed and free.

I still suffer from insomnia occasionally, but that is largely due to the fact that I’m a very driven, passionate person. I keep myself awake at nights planning productivity and efficiency in every area of my life so I can accomplish my massive to-do lists. See? I still have problems. As I joked to a friend the other day, “I probably should be on medication some days!” But I know what to do and where to go when I’m struggling. So even though life isn’t perfect (news flash – it ain’t gonna be till we get to heaven) I can experience a taste of glory here and now because of the freedom Christ offers His children. Press in and find that joy, friend. There’s nothing like it. No drug, panacea, distraction, relationship, comfort food, material possession, or outward destination is going to give you a lasting fix. Jesus is the one who will set you free. I bless His name.

This is the final post in a series on overcoming anxiety. I hope that my honesty in sharing my story has inspired you that you, too, can find freedom in this area. If you have any further questions about my experiences, or would like to talk or pray with someone as you journey to freedom, please don’t hesitate to email me: trintjerenae@gmail.com

Read the rest of the series…
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 1 – Vice of Fear
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 2 – Glimpse of Hope
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 3 – How bad was it? And have you got one, too?
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 4 – The Physical Fix – Are Drugs the Answer?
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 5 – The Mental Fix – Quick and Easy? 
My Anxiety Disorder: Part 6 – The Spiritual Fix – A New Perspective, Please!

9 responses to “My Anxiety Disorder: How I am I doing now?”

  1. Leslie Avatar
    Leslie

    You rock. Found your blog tonight through pinterest. Wow. I stayed up far too late reading too many of your posts. I kept thinking “There’s another Christian women, with a handful of amazing kids, trying to live simply and feed her children whole real food, while struggling with anxiety and perfectionism? I’m not the only one staying up trying to become more efficient so I can get more off my to do list? What? Wow again. Thank you for all your wonderful insights and posts. Wish I could afford your e-book because it sounds like food my kids would eat. Too many real food cookbooks contain meals that are super fancy, or weird, or take too long to make. Reading your posts made me so hungry! I know it would be a blessing, so maybe I can ask for it for my birthday this year (budget is tight at my house right now). .. Thank you for sharing yourself on this blog.

  2. Jennifer Ebenhack Avatar

    Trina, how incredible to read this series… God’s been teaching us sooo much of the same stuff and I love hearing your perspective and story. People-pleasing is part of my make up as well, and as I look back to the stress of my eight years in Haiti, I see not only the craziness of just living there and experiencing traumatic stuff, but also that sin of stressing out to make others happy… to the detriment of my walk with God, my relationship with my family, and my health. God has done so much work on me and is still at it! (Much more to be done!) Thanks so much for this GREAT series! Awesome insights, well told!

    1. Trina Avatar

      Jennifer, I loved your book and hearing how God walked you through similar darkness! I’m so glad we’ve connected!

  3. Crystal @ Serving Joyfully Avatar

    I’m glad I found your blog through allume.com. I, too, struggle with anxiety disorder (and depression). However, in January of this year, after years of thinking there was no hope at all…God gave me a promise that he was going to give me a new testimony–deliverance from what I call my emotional bondage bundle (depression, eating disorder, and anxiety disorder). I’m still waiting for the completion of this, but it gives me so much hope to see how far He’s brought me already, and to have His direct promise of deliverance to cling to!

    BLessings to you as you continue to struggle a bit, but praise God for your deliverance!!!

    1. Trina Avatar
      Trina

      Crystal,
      I visited your blog and can see that God is slowly, surely, bringing you freedom. I’m so excited for you! Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Collette Meyer Avatar
    Collette Meyer

    I am so glad to have found this website and you!!! 🙂
    Thank you so much – it is so nice to read about someone who has gone through similar things to me … and better yet feel like you can be friends with her as well.

    I would love to mail you somtime … 🙂 My name is Collette and I live in Botswana, Africa – I am a YLCF fan ….:) and I love the Lord.

    I too have been on a similar journey to yours – Praise God for His love and help and that He sends us friends along the road to share the journey and the load with love and help.
    We have not been through this for nothing – God has used it and will continue to use what we have been through to help others… as you are doing! So encouraged – keep it up!

  5. Along the way Avatar

    This series has been an eye opening one for me. Praise God for HIS leading. And thank you so much for pouring your heart out here and being transparent.

  6. Trina Avatar

    Thanks, Jess! It was my first attempt at a serious subject and true series. It was so great to chat with my readers as I relived what God has done .

  7. ~Jess Avatar

    Good for you Trina! Great post and great series!

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