The early morning air reconciles me to being sleepless since 4am. I walk out to my yard with my Bible to meet with my God, already tasting the sweetness this quiet morning promises. . . and that’s when I see the giant squash leaves torn and shredded, strewn on the ground near the compost. My faithful husband, in his zeal for keeping the lawn tidy, chopped down the two most promising plants in my tiny garden, simply ’cause they looked out of place amongst my garlic plants.
My spirit Plunges into grief and frustration. I thrash for the surface, trying to regain the peace I was reveling in a moment before. I mourn the promise of a delectable zucchini in just a few weeks – and that tomato plant, a foot tall already! I turn to my journal, seeking solace in writing.
As I write, detailing the things to be grateful for (morning air, tidy yard, faithful husband) my perspective comes in focus and I see the love behind this destruction. He thought he was doing me an immense favor, to angle his weed-wacker carefully between the plants to rid his wife’s garden of that lush, invasive-looking weed. He thought he was blessing me.
What do you do with clumsy love? The toddler’s sticky embrace that means you must wash your hair again? The prize blossom plucked from the garden, already wilting and slightly crushed, proudly presented as a gift for mommy? The small, willing hands in the kitchen, spilling more ingredients on the floor than in the bowl?
What does God do with our love? Our grasping, selfish, short-sighted, clumsy attempts to worship Him and love those around us?
He accepts it. His heart is so big, He can take pleasure even in our feeble, human attempts to interact with the God of the universe. Our mistakes do not ruffle His feathers, or ruin His plans for the universe. He is so much bigger.
And He created us in His image, allowing us to tap into His heart and His perspective.
Lord, enlarge my heart. Fill it with your love and peace so the brokenness of this life doesn’t steal the joy I can have in Your presence.
Epilogue: A second squash plant is quickly filling in the space the first plant occupied. And the yard really does look amazing. It’s like a park!