Embracing Beauty

My Affair with Facebook

The Beginning of the End
It all started on a beautiful day in October. I was in the suburban with my husband and our 2 month old baby, on our way to our first destination on a little getaway for our 5th anniversary. We were listening to Kirk Cameron on Focus on the Family as we sped along the thruway in the bright, autumnal sunshine. Little did I know the conviction I was racing towards. 

Kirk, along with his wife, Lisa, was talking about protecting your marriage, and he got real personal with an illustration. He began describing ‘another woman’ who entered his life and began pulling him away from his marriage. He talked about how much fun he had when he was with her, how much affirmation he got from the relationship, and how it began to take more and more of his time. Then he got to where he was going to reveal the woman’s name – and I was like, ‘whoa! he’s gonna do this on a national radio program?!’

The woman’s name was ‘the Church’. Suddenly it all made sense, and suddenly it was all too close to home. Because all the details of Kirk’s affair with serving the Church matched an affair I was having with…Facebook.

Admitting The Truth
I knew my computer time was out of control. Not badly, I told myself, but I had to admit it was stealing from other things that were more important to me. Like, time with my kids, time for creativity in the studio, time for connecting in real, beyond-surface-level relationships, and time with my husband. 

Suddenly I remembered my Bible reading that morning. I remembered my inner rebellion as I turned to the ‘Proverb of the day’ and realized, it being the 7th, that I’d have to read through the chapter that never seemed applicable to me – you know the one about the adulterous woman seducing the young man ‘void of understanding’. I remember asking the Lord, “why do I have to read this again? I never get anything out of it! It’s a warning for guys!” I may have even skimmed…or skipped Proverbs 7 and gone onto the psalms. (I don’t remember that part).

Right then, in my seat in the car, I heard – rather too loudly to ignore – the Spirit telling me to read that Proverb again, this time comparing the young man’s temptation to sin with the adulterous woman to my own temptation to waste time on facebook. I resolved to do just that when we got to our hotel room.

The Dream
We were out late that night, and I didn’t get a chance to read my Bible that evening, but the Lord made sure I didn’t forget the lesson He was trying to teach me. He gave me a dream that very night in the hotel room that scared my socks off and made me unable to forget that this was an area I needed to address and now. I won’t go into the details of the dream (you know how dreams are – hard to explain and lots of details that are only significant to the dreamer) but I will tell you it was one of those dreams – I’ve only had about a half dozen of them – that you will remember the rest of your life ’cause you know they MEAN something.

Here’s what the dream said to me, taken from my journal -

“FB is a threat to my marriage, just as dangerous as an adulterous relationship. It is invading private and sacred places and time, stealing what is most precious to me – quality time with my husband. Logging into fb is like leaving the door open to temptation – it wastes time and distracts me from what is most important. There are small benefits to fb, but the risks of wasting time outweigh those benefits. Trying to use fb as a platform to minister from is still exposing me to too much chance of distraction and time wasting.”



Between the radio program, the Proverb, the dream, and a conversation with a friend who had done the same, I resolved that I was going to take a month off facebook. I had heard of other people doing this, and thought it was cool – for them. Suddenly I realized it was crucial for me to make the same tough decision or I would be in danger of permanently damaging my relationship with my husband and many other things that I held dear.

You may ask – if my addiction was so bad, why hadn’t I done something sooner? Why did it take a whole string of ‘coincidental circumstances’ that weekend to get my attention and tell me it was time to reassess? Because, people, I had justified and excused my facebook time over and over. Here were some of my excuses. I’m sharing all this and being painfully honest because I know I’m not the only one out there who has struggled with managing their time online. I just hope your excuses are better than mine, because mine were lame:

  • “I’m not like some people – I don’t post my status every hour!”
  • “I’m not wasting my time – I don’t play Bejeweled or answer those silly quiz questions!”
  • “I’ve gotten in touch with people I wouldn’t have been able to contact otherwise!”
  • “I use facebook to reach out and encourage other people!”
  • “I’m a stay-at-home-mom of toddlers who needs this social interaction with adults or I’ll go insane!”

Any of those sound familiar? I thought so. However we justify our facebook time, I know that most of us could use a little more discipline in that area. But the motivation to take control of this area of your life may still be lacking enough gumption to get you off your duff. So in my next post on the subject, I’m gonna share the 4 things I learned from my Facebook Fast (that way you don’t have to do one, you can just get the benefits!)

Meanwhile, I’d encourage you to take stock of the time you spend online. Are you controlling it or is it controlling you? Are YOU addicted to facebook, or some other site online? Is your computer time stealing from other things that are more important to you?

A Peek Into Our February

I finally got around to learning how to upload photos on the laptop, and so I present these latest cute-kid-pictures along with a little personal update on our little family…

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Jesse is learning to make bread with me. How I have looked forward to this day, and the opportunity to pass on my knowledge in the kitchen so that eventually I can delegate entire tasks to him. And this is not just for my benefit – helping in the kitchen and being given important jobs is his favorite part of any day. It makes him feel so proud and accomplished.
We are making Yeasted Buttermilk Bread from Nourishing Traditions. It has been the answer to my quest for a good, soaked, sandwich bread! I will be sharing my version of the recipe soon.

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Seth is discovering the joys of tummy time and cars. He enjoyed playing cars with his brother the other day.

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Claire is learning to dress herself – I thought you’d enjoy this picture of the process.

Another big step she has taken is deciding to potty train herself. Don’t ask me what I did to deserve this. I’ve had the responsibility to potty train 3 other children in my life and I’ve never experienced such an easy transition, nor at such a young age. She’s so young, she can hardly even communicate when she has to go, so the only dirty diapers I’ve had to change in the past 10 days have happened when she hasn’t been able to get my attention in time. I’m convinced her motivation for all of this is her appetite for thrill-seeking. She prefers to use the big toilet, and loves the balancing act of climbing up a stool and getting herself in place. Her eyes just sparkle whenever she is on her ‘perch’. :)

I am fully in hibernation mode here – only go out when I absolutely have to – Church, once a week errands, and to the ski lodge on the weekends if I have the gumption. I do take the kids out to play in the snow – again, when I have the gumption and it coincides with one of Seth’s naps. Jesse longs for summer and Claire cries every time it’s time to come back inside. I am in the kitchen a lot, perfecting new soup recipes and planning the menu for our 5 day ski trip to Lake Placid in two weeks. A few minutes here and there in the studio or on the couch with a good book – I have to say, I’m thoroughly enjoying winter, even if my kids are a little stir-crazy!

Jeremy is working 7 days a week right now, with the ski program running on weekends, but some how we are able to connect and keep up with things. It’s not easy, but we encourage ourselves knowing it’s just for a season and try to make the most of it. I was delighted last week when the Saturday session was canceled, allowing us to go out Friday night – we hadn’t had a date in ages! I even left Seth for the first time, and of course he had a lovely time with his siblings at Grandpa and Grandma’s and didn’t even miss me. We did some window shopping and had dinner at the Outback Restaurant that we ate at on our very first date!

I hope you’re having a lovely winter, and if you are feeling a little stir crazy, check out these tips I collected for ‘Combating Cabin Fever‘ a few years ago. A cup of chai sounds really good right now…

“Thank goodness I was never sent to school…”

How refreshing it was to find this quote as I slogged through reviews and websites looking for just the right combination of resources for Jesse for kindergarten. Reminds me of why I am doing what I’m doing…And makes me so grateful that my mother paved the way for my approach my children’s education by homeschooling me way before it was in vogue or any one really even knew what it was…I’m close to making a decision with my curriculum choices and will share what I find and how it works in the future…

"Thank goodness I was never sent to school…"

How refreshing it was to find this quote as I slogged through reviews and websites looking for just the right combination of resources for Jesse for kindergarten. Reminds me of why I am doing what I’m doing…And makes me so grateful that my mother paved the way for my approach my children’s education by homeschooling me way before it was in vogue or any one really even knew what it was…I’m close to making a decision with my curriculum choices and will share what I find and how it works in the future…

Wordless Weekend: Coming Together

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How’s That Working For You? Part 2 – 12 Things That Work For Me

How’s That Working For You -Part 1 – On Living Intentionally

Here’s a list of things that are a part of my life that ‘work for me’.

Again, my purpose in sharing these things is not to debate, or to show you how right I am and how wrong you are – that’s not it at all. I simply hope to inspire you to evaluate where you stand, and why you’re standing there. I’m going to be brief, and hope to address each of these points more fully in later posts.

1. I believe my health (and that of my family) is in direct relation to what we eat. For this reason, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen to prepare nutrient dense meals from whole ingredients, believing this to be the key to my family’s present and future health.
Result: We are rarely sick, and when we do catch the occasional bug, we recover quickly. My kids have never needed antibiotics or even had an earache. The future benefits remain to be seen, but I’m excited!

2. I believe in breastfeeding my babies. Even when they seem allergic to my milk! I change my diet and tweak what I eat until the elixir God designed for my babies is just what they need. Even if it means giving up chocolate and milk in my diet…
Result: Healthy babies and a whole lot of fulfillment!

3. I believe in parent-directed feeding. It’s a child’s first lesson in the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Studies show that a full, regularly spaced meal is better for a baby than ‘snacking’ whenever they fuss.
Result: Chubby, happy babies who sleep through the night!


4. I thrive on schedules and routine. I schedule computer time, my children’s naps, daily, weekly, and monthly chores and outings. I plan menus, blog posts, and projects sometimes a month out, and I make lists for everything.
Result: Peace and stability in our home, which, ironically, creates a foundation for spontaneity. Productivity and time for the things that are truly important to me.

5. I believe Biblical Womanhood. I believe my place of blessing and fulfillment is in submission and honoring my God given authority, my husband. I reject feminism in all forms.
Result: More satisfaction and joy in my role than I ever imagined.

6. We do not immunize our children. This is one area in which, though I believe very strongly, I’m unable at this time to give an articulate explanation of my stand. I’m committed to going back over the research I have read on this and giving you my reasons in a future post.
Result: My children have never had to suffer the pain and fear of vaccinations, vaccinosis, or other vaccine reactions. In fact, they are rarely sick at all. Hmm – wonder if that’s coincidence?


7. I believe in authenticity and unconditional love in relationships. The people in my life with whom I can be myself are the dearest relationships, and it is my goal to both surround myself with, and to BE a person who loves as Christ loves us.
Result: I often taste of the blessed fellowship, support, and joy that God designed to happen between His children.

8. We believe in spacing our children. Studies and my own personal experience are showing that it essential for the health of the mother and her children to have time between pregnancies for the mother’s body to ‘recharge’ so that she can impart to each little life in her womb everything it needs for optimum health.
Result: the ability to enjoy each of my children as the Lord gives them to me and not feel they are a burden I cannot handle. Children with strong immune systems.

9. I believe I am on this earth to glorify God. I have a personal relationship with Christ, having trusted Him as my savior. I try to live my life in accordance with His word and what the Holy Spirit speaks to my heart.
Result: Focusing on this always helps my perspective and brings me peace.

10. I believe that prayer to the One True God, Jesus Christ, works.  Every time.
Result: I have a hope that extends beyond this temporal world, and many opportunities to see God’s power at work. Just yesterday, in fact, I cried out to God in a moment of weakness, and He delivered me. Tell you about that soon!


11. I believe true fulfillment comes from seeking God’s best for my life.  I had an epiphany regarding this during my first year of motherhood, and hope to share the story with you soon.
Result: I am fulfilled and content with my life.
 
12. I believe natural, homebirth is the best thing for me and my family. Pregnancy is not a disease, and Labor is not an emergency – it was designed by God and I believe the home is the ideal place to experience this miracle. I am not against doctors – I simply choose to reserve their involvement for emergencies.  Result: Peace and Security during labor, actually enjoying the delivery of my children. Priceless memories as we have celebrated the arrival of each child.


So, that’s my list. What’s yours? Are you living intentionally? Are your choices based on what you feel is God’s best for you and your family? 

I sincerely hope so.

Blessings,
Trina

How I’m Learning To Be a Better Bogger and Why You Should, Too

I’ve been on a ‘how to blog better’ kick for a couple months now, and this whole thing with my desktop dying every time I try to upload a photo (yes, it’s the actual photo posting that makes it faint dead away!) has me really focusing on the words I put here on the blog. Why I write. What I write. And how to write it better. (And I’m doing all this for you – ain’t I sweet?).

I’ve been amazed at the quality information out there (much of it free, so don’t buy the first e-book you find) to developed and improve your blogging.
I’ve been challenged to manage my computer time better, and given strategies for doing so. I’ve been taught how to craft an easily-scannable post, and why. I’ve been told ‘the secrets’ to popular blogs, and how to become one yourself. I’ve been encourage to find my writing voice, to map out why I blog, and to blog intentionally.

Maybe your blog is just a hobby, a place you hang out, where you post photos of your family for your family and all that. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that – that’s what my blog was for a long time – but I have come to want my blog to be more that just virtual cork-board to collect stuff I like online. I’ve caught the vision that my blog could be a platform to help me change the world.

I’m inspired by women like Lindsay and Stephanie who are using their blogs to minister to and instruct other women. Women like Dianne and Traci, whose blog posts so often glorify God rather than themselves. I want to be like my friend Katie, who is using her blog to passionately share what God has taught her, to help others live out their identity in Christ.

My goal in this post is two-fold:

  1. To challenge you to consider – has God give you an audience through your blog, and does He have something He wants to say through you?
  2. To ffer a list of resources that have helped me as I study to steward the platform God has given me on my blog. 

So, here comes the links -

Copy Blogger – you’ll be amazed at the quality content on crafting a better blog post, how to write a great post titles, and getting past writer’s block.

AmyLynnAndrews – is teaching me so much about managing my computer time and maximizing the tools and opportunities I’ve found online. What I love about her is that she is *just* a pastor’s wife and stay at home mom, and she has turned her online knowledge into a successful blog and ministry. Oh, and her e-book IS one that I recommend, ’cause it’s short, cheap, and packs a real punch. (see sidebar, ‘Tell Your Time’)

When I first read Amy’s e-book, she taught me how to manage my computer time and since then I have been regularly setting aside a part of my online time toward ‘continuing education’. I usually read one or two articles a day, and bookmark good resources so I can follow up at a later time.

Tips for Better Blog Writing. Great article, helped me become aware of the little things you can do in a post that make big difference.

Metropolitan Mama – I’ve only just discovered this awesome blog and I know I have a lot to learn from this ‘queen of mommy bloggers’.

My goal is to be a good steward of all that God has given me, including my internet connection, computer, and my wonderful blog friends. I hope you have been challenged and encouraged to do the same.

Please share with me the sites you have found to be most informative and challenging in our blogging journey! Who inspires you? Do you have some great blogging or time management tips?

“Our Family Works” film series, featuring…Us!!!

I figured it was about time I told you about Jesse’s favorite movie. We got a copy last fall, and I’m finally getting around to posting a link for you!

The filming for “Our Family Works” was done two years ago, the summer I was pregnant with Claire and helping plan my sister-in-law’s wedding. In fact, the film crew was following my in-laws around the family business the day before the wedding – which is why Joanna has a lovely french manicure as she totals the cash box, and I’m not in any of the footage ’cause I was busy making corsages back at my house. ☺

This is Jesse’s favorite movie ’cause his grandpa is in almost every scene. As far as other viewers are concerned, it’s a really well done documentary about family businesses, and if your husband or dad is an entrepreneur, they could certainly glean from this film.

I thought you all might enjoy the glimpse it gives into our family business, and why Jesse said to me the other day,

“When me get big, me want to work in the coal business in Ovid!”

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZ26UzDV8ZE]

"Our Family Works" film series, featuring…Us!!!

I figured it was about time I told you about Jesse’s favorite movie. We got a copy last fall, and I’m finally getting around to posting a link for you!

The filming for “Our Family Works” was done two years ago, the summer I was pregnant with Claire and helping plan my sister-in-law’s wedding. In fact, the film crew was following my in-laws around the family business the day before the wedding – which is why Joanna has a lovely french manicure as she totals the cash box, and I’m not in any of the footage ’cause I was busy making corsages back at my house. ☺

This is Jesse’s favorite movie ’cause his grandpa is in almost every scene. As far as other viewers are concerned, it’s a really well done documentary about family businesses, and if your husband or dad is an entrepreneur, they could certainly glean from this film.

I thought you all might enjoy the glimpse it gives into our family business, and why Jesse said to me the other day,

“When me get big, me want to work in the coal business in Ovid!”

How to Make Kefir

Just leave it on the counter….along with your beet kvass and sauerkraut!

I like to tell people that making kefir is easier than NOT making kefir. 

How can that be?

Well, ’cause it’s basically just leaving a jar of milk on the counter instead of putting it away in the fridge (something I procrastinate about all the time). Oh, and you add a little starter. So simple!

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 1/2 gallon of fresh, raw milk
  • 1 package kefir powder
  • sterilized glass jar with lid

I get my kefir powder from my favorite grocery store, Wegman’s, in the health food section. The brand is yogourmet. I pay about $5 for a package which is not bad when you consider how many batches of kefir I can make with it. Once you have made kefir, you can save 1/2 cup from the first batch to start the next one, like yogurt making, and you only have to use a new package of powder every 5th or 6th time. So, lots of batches in that little box.

There’s also a way to make kefir with grains, and once you get the grains, you can reuse them for, like, forever. But I haven’t gotten my hands on any grains yet, so I just use the powder. Works great for me in this season ’cause it’s so easy. Speaking of which,

Here’s how you do it…

  1. Pour milk into clean jar. 
  2. Stir one package powder into milk (non metallic is recommended)
  3. Screw on cap and leave jar on counter. 

Kefir is done when it’s slightly set – you’ll see it turn from a liquid to more like a yogurt consistency. This usually takes about 24-36 hours, depending on the temperature in your kitchen. Then you put it in the fridge to store it. How long you keep it is a matter of preference – I like to consume mine within a week or it becomes too tart and yeasty.

I wish someone had told me how easy it was to make kefir - I’d have started making it years ago! I wish they had told me how good it was in smoothies – better than yogurt! Actually, someone probably told me, and I just wasn’t listening. That’s why I decided to blog about kefir today. I kept telling myself “Oh, so many other real food bloggers have already posted about kefir – it’s old hat for most people – I don’t need to post about it!” But maybe this time you’ll say, “You know, I really ought to try that – it does sound easy and yummy!”

‘Cause it is. Easy. And Yummy. Oh, and did I mention good for you?

  • It’s a natural antibiotic
  • Contains completely different microorganisms than yogurt,
  • Doesn’t usually bother people with lactose intolerance because the culturing process consumes most of the lactose.
  • Restores the digestive tract. 

 I have to say that kefir was one of the easiest whole food steps I’ve made – it was super easy to incorporate it into my weekly food prep routine. I encourage you to try it this week!

Don’t have a source for raw milk? You can use pasteurized, but should try to find non-homogenized. Or, even better, check out this directory of raw milk suppliers.

Do you like kefir? Do you make your own? What do you use it for? So far, I only use it in smoothies, but my friend, Claire, drinks it plain! How about you?



This post is part of Pennywise Platter over at Nourishing Gourmet!

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